Tuesday, June 5, 2012

I Swore I'd Never Be That Girl...

Ok, so I just read a post on Motherhood Truth. This is my response to her question: How would you feel if you were picking up or dropping off your kid at school and there was someone smoking, right there in plain sight??? 

I started smoking when I was 15.  I'd sneak out my bedroom window and smoke on the roof and then RUN in and hop in the shower...certain that my mom didn't have a clue.  Turns out 15 year old's in fact do NOT know it ALL!!  When I got busted, she pleaded with me..."I loved you enough to quit smoking when I got pregnant with you, love yourself enough to quit now." Blah blah blah...my response was "I'll quit when I get pregnant."  She promptly cut me off!!  I mean she made sure I was fed, clothed and didn't go without...but the only money she gave me was enough for lunch money and that was it.  No way was she going to give me an allowance that I in turn would spend on cancer sticks.

So...who knew those words would come back to bite me in the ASS?!?!  I got knocked up at the ripe old age of 20!!  I quit cold turkey...but of course my husband didn't and after I popped that 8 pounder out, I quickly started puffing away again.  I didn't smoke in the car with my baby...but he did.  I didn't smoke in the house...but he did.  Because we were idiots and didn't figure out how it happened the first time...I got knocked up again (kidding...she was planned).  But this time the quitting cold turkey was sooooo much harder.  I probably averaged 3 sticks a day.

I LOVED smoking!!  Especially after my divorce.  It was my solace...my escape from reality for a brief 10 minutes at a time.  I could go sit on the back porch (the one who's roof I used to sneak on to) and have a few desperately needed minutes of SILENCE!!!  My girls knew not to bother me when I was out there...they'd patiently wait just inside the door for me.  

As they got older and started school, I was embarrassed that I smoked.  I didn't want any of the other parents to know I smoked.  If they had a friend over, I'd either wait til they left or I'd go hide somewhere and sneak a few puffs.  Then they got to the point where they were embarrassed too.  Beelay didn't even want me to smoke in my car after I dropped them off at school or on my way home from work because one of her friends might see me.

I wanted to quit.  I knew I didn't want to continue setting this horrible example for my kids.  I knew I couldn't afford the rising prices.  BUT dammit...I LOVED it!!!  Finally, on Jan. 1, 2010...I did it!!!  I quit!!  I swore I'd never be that girl though.  The judgmental former smoker that thought "If I can do it, so can you."  The one in the group that would say "I really don't wanna go there because it's so smoky."  Guess what?  I became that girl...usually silently, but all of those thoughts were there (they still are).

I was always respectful of non-smokers.  So when I ran to the bagel shop the other day to pick up lunch and these two guys were standing right at the door, shooting the shit and puffing away...it PISSED ME OFF!!  It wasn't raining, it wasn't cold...it was a beautiful day!!!  Why not walk away from the door...so everyone walking in or out or who was sitting right inside the door, didn't have to inhale your pollution?  

So when I read Motherhood Truth's post...I had to answer!!!  Besides it being prohibited, I think it's disrespectful, irresponsible, ignorant and foolish for parents to even think about smoking in the carpool line...or in the parking lot or on the playground or soccer field.  WAKE UP!!!  It's 2012!!  I don't think smoking should be banned.  I don't think that smokers should be butt raped by taxes.  If they want to smoke...have at it!!  Hell, smoke one for me...but seriously people, don't force it on those that have chosen to take their health seriously!!!

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  1. After 12 years of smoking, I quit in 2003. And, I never regret it...even though I miss it sometimes. But, it makes me so angry when people smoke around their kids.

  2. Very awesome that you read Danielle's post and decide to write one of your own. Thanks for that, and for linking up!

    And, good for you for quitting. :-)

  3. Not only did you read my blog (kudos) you wrote a WHOLE blog post in response to my blog (TRIPLE KUDOS), so awesome! Good for you for being able to quit! Some day I will, I know I can and I want to. Just not RIGHT now. For now I will smoke in the parking lot judging the people standing by the door. :D

  4. okay...just need to say I love you...so glad I found you

  5. I'd be lying if I said I haven't cheated...I had a couple moments of drunken weakness and stole a puff here and there, last being over a year ago. You definitely have to be ready...and when you are it's much easier than just doing it because someone (everyone) tells you you should.

  6. Good for you! I've never smoked and my kids (fingers crossed) so far don't either. But I'm fairly tolerant of others that do. I don't let them smoke in my house but other than that, it's a free world, kill yourself as you will.... :)

  7. Good for you! I agree mostly w/ everything you said.

    I've never smoked, hate it, but my parents did. My dad would smoke in the care w/ the windows up it was HORRIBLE! He smoked in the house, he smoked in the car, he smoked anywhere he damn well pleased. My Mom didn't smoke for long, maybe a few years and quit, my stepdad smoked though, also in the house/car/wherever. So, I never started, couldn't stand it, my clothes stunk, my hair stuck and I wasn't even the one smoking.

    However, if I saw someone smoking right in plain sight of my kids while dropping them off at school, I probably wouldn't care depending on where they were. If they are in their vehicle, don't care, not my problem. If they are standing far enough away from the exits of the school that the kids won't have to walk through it, don't care. The only time it would bother me is if the kids had to go through it to get out of the school. AND don't EVER think of lighting up IN my house.

    We have friends that smoke, my kids know what it is and what they are doing and they also know that it stinks and it's gross. They've seen their Grandpa smoke, and we've all had many discussions about it. I don't think it's the smoker's responsibility to teach your children what's right or wrong, if you see someone smoking and your children see it, use it as a teaching moment and talk about it.

    I like what Leanne said, "it's a free world, kill yourself as you will.."

  8. I think it's the former smoker in me that is bitter towards those still smoking. You're right, if me or my kids aren't in the direct path of your smoke...whatevs!! It really doesn't bother me when I'm in an environment that you'd expect to encounter it...but I stand by the playground and soccer field statement :)