Tuesday, May 7, 2013

What I'd Really Like To Say....

Families would be so much less dysfunctional if everyone could just be honest and say how they really feel and be heard without defenses going up and blame being thrown around like a hot potato.  Hearing the truth sometimes hurts, but if your family can't tell you the truth; who can? Part of growing up is admitting when you're wrong, learning how to compromise and sometimes just agree to disagree.  If you're one of those people who thinks they're never wrong, you must live in a very lonely world.

I've been dealing with some family drama for going on 6 weeks.  I've tried to stay out of it, but still let my feelings about it be known.  For years, I felt like I was the only person that would stand up to this particular family member and now that someone else has, I'm backing them up from a distance....if that makes sense.  But now I feel like "no good deed goes unpunished".  

So here are some random things that I'd really like to say to random family members....

1. No matter how old we are, our parents are still our parents and deserve to be respected and appreciated.
2. I'm a mom too...and really Mother's Day is just another day to me.
3. Your birthday is not a national holiday.
4. Don't talk on your phone at the dinner table.  Excuse yourself or offer to return the call later.
5. Just because someone offers, doesn't mean you should necessarily accept.
6. Usually, if you ignore something it usually doesn't go away....it just gets bigger and bigger.
7. NOBODY is perfect!!
8. Jealousy only makes bad situations worse. 
9. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to, because they're the right thing to do.

This post is probably gonna hurt some feelings, but it was the only way I felt I could vent the things that were stewing inside me.  I love my family...my parents, my siblings, my kids and my extended family.  Most everything above has been said to the face of the person it's intended, but not necessarily heard or accepted.  Don't take your family for granted.  You never know what tomorrow holds.

Whew...now that I got all of that off my chest, I feel soooooo much better.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Raising Teenage Girl Probs....

Ok, ok, ok....I know I've been a terribly shitty blogger lately.  My only excuse is that I haven't had time.  Bite me.  But I would like to thank those of you that have been pushing, prodding and nagging me to get my act together and come up with some new material.  So without further adieu...

My 14 year old daughter actually asked me the other day when she could get on birth control.  That's right...14!!!  Not for the actual birth control part though.  She's having some really rough cycles.  I hate it for her, I REALLY DO!!  I remember how bad it could be...and really how bad it still can be for me if I weren't on birth control myself.  I try to be sympathetic, but you're not missing a week of school because Aunt Flow is in town.  So I have been suckered into letting her miss first PERIOD (pun intended) a time or two, but when you grow up; you gotta learn to push through it.

I'm sure you all want to know my answer, right?  Well, I actually said "we'll talk about it when you're 30." And prayed she would get the hell out of my room....which of course she didn't.  She wanted to talk about when I got on the pill and when I had sex for the first time, GASP!!!!  Apparently one night when I had one too many glasses of wine or had already taken my sleeping pill and my judgement was WAY off, I admitted to her how old I was when I lost my virginity.  I hope I also shared with her some great words of wisdom and successfully talked her into being a virgin until she's at least 25.  But honestly I don't remember telling her anything.  DAMMIT!!!

After she dropped all of that in my lap and I swallowed my shock and embarrassment, I explained to her that the reason I didn't want her on the pill (even if it is to regulate her period, cramps, hormones, etc.), because I felt like it would encourage her to make bad choices.  That I felt like when my mom put me on the pill, she was giving me permission to have sex.  Even though I know without a doubt that wasn't the case.  

I believe I ended the conversation with "Go take some ibuprofen.  Plug in the heating pad and we'll talk about this in a couple of years."  So just when I thought this whole subject had been dealt with, they pass this INSANITY that will allow a 15 year old to buy the "morning after" pill.  ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME????  

I don't want my girls to even know there's a "Plan B" out there.  Trust me when I say, I'm not naive.  I know that the chances of both of them waiting until they're married are minuscule, but a mom can hope and pray; can't she?  

I do feel pretty confident that at least my older daughter and I have a very open relationship.  She is often times, too comfortable talking to me about certain things.  I'm not complaining.  I hope that when the time comes for her to take a relationship to "that" level, she'll make responsible decisions.  That she'll ALWAYS use protection, even if she is on the pill.  See, I'm not in total denial.  Eventually I'll give in and let her get on BC, but NOT at 14 or 15...or maybe even 16.  I'll just cross that bridge when we get to it.  

Bottom line, I don't think "Plan B" should be an option.  I'm afraid that CHILDREN won't understand that a condom is still important because no pill prevents STDs.  I'm still a firm supporter of preaching abstinence!!

I know this wasn't the funny post ya'll were hoping for, but it's what was on my mind when I finally found the time to write.  I'll try to be more entertaining next time.  Until then, follow me on Facebook.  Peace!!