Monday, September 10, 2012

Chiquita Turned 30!!!

Last week was another one of those Hell weeks!!  I've been so slammed at work and at home...and still no solution to the computer/internet crisis either.  I really want to tell you all about my sister-wife, Chiquita's birthday party...while it's still fresh in my mind.

Let me start with telling you that she is like the CIA!!!  She can dig and stalk and she won't give up until she walks away with some really good dirt.  She also has a little bit of a psychic tendency.  You can't hide SHIT from this BITCH!!! 
Sake Bomb!!!

Probably 3 weeks ago, I get an IM from her that says "Ok, who put Skittles up to planning my birthday party?"  To which I replied "Huh? What are you talking about?" But in my head I'm thinking "Oh shit, what did I say that gave anything away?"  Ya see, Chiquita & I are both OCD planners.  Skittles is too, but when it comes to me and's just expected that one of us is going to plan the others stuff.  So when Skittles started asking questions about dinner, it raised Chiquita's sense of awareness.  I'm pretty sure I threw her off the scent with my playing dumb act.  Because in reality, neither Skittles or I were really planning her party.  We were just given the task of getting her nosy ass out of the house for a certain amount of time and there was no secret about where we were going to dinner.  The traditional sushi and sake bombs are a must!!

We successfully got her out of the house so her mom could take over from there.  Of course while we're en route back to the hizzy after dinner, her mom calls Skittles and asks if we can stall just a little longer....ummm, yeah none of us were in the same car with Chiquita.  The only person I knew for sure was with her was Zippy...and he SUCKS at keeping secrets or a straight face.  I call him and tell him to run to the store and play it off....and I promptly get a text from Chiquita stating "He sucks at deferring. Just sayin".  So obviously she knew something...but she still had no idea what her night had in store for her.

Gene Simmons surprised her with a birthday serenade.  Okay so it was really one of her uncles from Indiana.  He and her other uncle drove into town to surprise her.  Apparently her "ESP" was on too.  She woke up the morning of and just had a "feeling" one or both of them were gonna be there.  In addition Sunflower and Otis worked together to put together a wonderful slide show of pictures of Chiquita ranging from birth until now.  It was great!!  I learned where Chiquita got her LONG tongue from too.  Uncle Gene!!!

We had a heart to heart on the deck with Sniper.  Where he was doing math equations on the glass communicate just how good of a man Captain Knuckles is.  When he ran out of space, he just poured his beer on the table to erase his work and waited for it to fog back up.  We were enthralled, let me tell ya.  It was time for Captain Knuckles take his cheerleader home when he decided to go all "Stone Cold Steve Austin" on us and throw a chair off the deck.  Your point was made.  Next time lets keep it all on the deck. Mmmkay?

We ended the party with a SUPER wedgie.  Poor Jinx should've known better than to ever lay on the floor face down....especially when us ladies have been drinking "a little".  His little bubble butt is often just too hard to resist.  The Birthday Girl just couldn't help herself.  Thank goodness Otis got the perfect shot.  

On the way home (thank you Jinx for not leaving us in MY car), I read our favorite blog out loud and almost peed my pants.  You can read it here. I'd love your input too.  It's about when it's okay to fart in front of a new "lover".  OMG!!!  I'm crying now just thinking about it.  

Which leads me into the day after....

We had a wonderful day on the lake.  The water was refreshingly cool.  The weather was beautiful and the company was priceless.  Chiquita's uncles joined us on our little excursion.  They were HILARIOUS!!!  While Chiquita, Zippy, Sunflower & I were relaxing and floating around in our newly discovered little cove...all the sudden Chiquita says "Ewww, I just swallowed my own fart bubble."  I love my friends....even especially at their nastiest!!

Happy birthday Chiquita.  I love you.  I'm so grateful for the day that you were brought into my life.  Your influence has helped me to continue to grow as a mom, woman and friend.  When my whole world is upside down and running at 173 miles an hour, you are my sanity.  Thank you for continuing to share my same thoughts and I don't feel like I'm the crazy one.

To my readers: I hope you've enjoyed this latest Clown Adventure.  Please follow me here on GFC or Facebook or now we're even on Twitter too.  Please take a second to click on the banner below to help me dominate at  The competition is fierce!!!  Thanks and have a happy Monday.  I'll tell you about my morning later :)

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  1. Haha! I love the comment you left on my blog. it sounds like you guys had fun & the party was great! { Happy late birthday Chiquita!!! }. I'm following you via GFC & twitter. I hope you have a great Monday!

  2. I am dreading the big 30!
    New follower over from Southern Mamas.
    Hugs, Jen @ frazzled 5 home to southern blog roll