Monday, July 30, 2012

Sometimes All You Can Do Is Laugh...

Let me tell you about my friend, Annie.  She & I worked together YEARS ago.  She was my supervisor at my very first job...and I haven't seen her since then, but we have reconnected on Facebook.  Turns out we've been living our lives at 6 degrees of separation.

For starters, her husband's dad was our head football coach in high school.  My mom went to high school and was best friends with his (the coach) brother and sister in-law.  Then while FB stalking her, I come across her sister's page and see her last name and some common friends...and I put 2 & 2 together.  Her sister's husband & I grew up the same neighborhood (for fear that my kids will read this...I won't tell you all what kind of bad influences he & his brother were on us), until he moved into their neighborhood, where I guess they subsequently met, fell in love and got married.

Now that you're aware of just how small our not so small world is, I'll explain why I'm writing about her at all.  Annie is a stay at home mom to a 15 month old daughter and a 6 year old son.  She's ALWAYS posting things on her FB that totally make me giggle...but she's just too busy cleaning up diarrhea & scrubbing sharpie off the babies face to find time to actually blog about I generously volunteered.

Following are simply her statuses and comments from FB, that totally made me laugh out loud or maybe cry just a little.  I've just copied, pasted and changed the names.  Enjoy...

November 1, 2011:
These feathers are on the dogs side of the fence. Apparently, this afternoon a hen decided that she was going to squeeze through the fence at the gate to see what was on the other side. Dogs, that's what it is - she quickly found out.

Huck was playing out there and called me to intervene. As I was rushing out, Ruthy on my hip, I heardthe ruckus - dogs playing chicken tug of war, hen crying for help & rooster freaking out the dogs. I called the dogs off and the hen limped over to a corner. The rooster was still yelling at the dogs...I was yelling at them to stay away...the chicken was yelling for someone to come rescue her. Huck was adamantly yelling for me to call 911.

OK, breath...what am I going to do? I have to keep the dogs away from their new toy, keep Ruthy from eating dog poop in the grass, keep Huck from losing it and keep the rooster calm. And, I don't do chicken, so picking the thing up wasn't an option. Since she was hurt & squawking, Huck didn't want to pick her up because he thought he was hurting her more or she was going to die in his arms.

I called my sister, she wasn't too far away.  While I wait on her, I am walking back & forth trying to keep the dogs away, trying to decide if the chicken is dead or just hurt, trying to explain to Huck that ambulances aren't equipped to manage chicken emergencies, balance Ruthy on my hip and keep the rooster from playing tough guy and coming over the fence at the dogs.  We wait....

She gets here and, normally super calm in the face of adrenaline says "So, what do you want me to do?" She takes Ruthy and keeps the dogs away.  Her son says "I am really good with chickens, I can pick her up." He tried...unsuccessfully. So, I kneel down and have a come to Jesus with Huck. "You are going to have to pick up that hen. I can not do it, Huck. I will hold the gate open and walk it towards you. Just pick it up." So, he "gets some manhood" as he says (pretty much the equivalent to 'man up') and goes for it. He picks her up and runs her all the to the rooster at the coop. He saved the day! And maybe the hen, although the verdict is still out on that cause I'm not picking her up to survey the damage - we will have to wait for daddy to get home. The grass is not always greener little hen...

November 5, 2011:
Huckis spending the night with my sister and his cousin tonight.  On the way home, she heard this conversation in the back:
Cousin: "Huck, want me to tell you a brain buster?"
Huck: "Yes, but you know I'm really smart."
Cousin: "There was a cowboy that rode in to town on a Thurs., stayed for 3 days and left on a Thurs. How did he do it?"
Huck: "Whoa, whoa, whoa.  You're telling me that a real cowboy came in to town and you didn't send him to my house!?!?"
Cousin: "No, that's not the answer."

November 6, 2011:
It is totally no normal that the words "Don't let the rooster get in the house." would ever leave my mouth.

November 7, 2011:
About 6:45 this morning Huck gets up & puts on his Mossy Oak camo shirt, matching pants, a camo toboggan and is sitting in a camo camping chair in the middle f the den.  He said he's practicing since he gets to hunting with his dadd this weekend.  He might be a litte excited!!

November 16, 2011:
I had 3 sisters, no brothers...Huck is teaching me what being a boy is all about. (Apparently he was mining for the bottom of a mud puddle)

November 30, 2011:
Huck was doing his word match homework...."Mommy, look - I colored the nose on this reindeer red like Rudolph." Pause. "Yeah, I also gave him bloody antlers; he's been fighting other deer."

January 15, 2012:
Huck is outside helping his dad clean the chicken coop...he has on the singlet that his dad wore when he wrestled The Georgia Games a few years ago, tall camo hunting boots and a gangsta bandana. I so wish he would let me take a picture. (Obviously she got one.)

February 7, 2012:
Annie: "Huck? Do you have any idea how Ruthy got green sharpie on top of her head?"
Huck: "Oh sure. Her bow fell out & I was drawing another one in for her."

February 14, 2012:
Huck: "Can we go get something for Daddy for Valentine's Day?"
Annie: "What do you want to get him?"
Huck: "A chainsaw.  You know today is supposed to be about thing you love and he loves to chainsaw.  And I really love 4-wheelers, so why don't you pick me up one of those too."

April 2, 2012:
Spring Break at our house looks a little different than Panama City...

April 14, 2012:
Yesterday Huck had a rough day at school.  I asked him if something happened or if he knew why it was a bad day.  He said "I was trying really hard but my trying just got tired." I totally know how he feels!

April 30, 2012:
I don't usually wear make-up, today was a rare occassion.  At one point, Huck looked at me closely and said "Mommy, you have gold pollen on your eyelids."  Haha.  Maybe I should wear it more often!

May 28, 2012:
Huck's "Swamp People" birthday cake:

June15, 2012:
Huck is getting together "2 or 3 things you want to take to the beach to play with." Monster truck, tractor, a cup for making mud and electrical tape. Perfect.

July 3, 2012:
"Mommy, I was using the curtains as vines and when I swung on them to your bed the thing that I was pretending was a tree fell down & broke.  Oh, and Ruthy pooped on the floor."  And in the 15 seconds it took to type this, Ruthy emptied the cereal boxes onto the kitchen floor.

July 15, 2012:
Annie: "Huck? What are the red marks on Ruthy's neck and why is she in that box?
Huck: The marks are from where I was trying to brush the curls out of her hair.  And I put her that box so she wouldn't mess up my stuff anymore.  She's fine.  I push her around every once in a while and tell her it's a roller coaster."

July 24, 2012:
Huck's prayer tonight at dinner...."Dear God, thank you for our food and all the blessings.  And please help the new season of Duck Dynasty get here. Amen"

July 27, 2012:(The post that triggered me to start sharing with you)
The morning always sets the tone for what kind of day it's going to be: Ruthy had a bad diaper rash yesterday so she's been running around naked this morning.  Huck just said "Mommy, I think Ruthy had diarrhea on the floor and she dipped her cracker in it."  Bet it will be a crappy day.

Later on July 27, 2012:
My morning started out with diarrhea on the carpet annnnnnnd it continues, because apparently an entire bottle of powder on the carpet makes a really good race track for trucks, tractors & 4-wheelers.

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