My sister was a trooper!!! Things got a little hairy there at the end...but everyone pulled through just fine. They're all home from the hospital and trying to adjust to having a sweet baby in the house. And trying to make everyone happy when it comes to visiting and holding Squirt...but this task is proving to be way more difficult than it should be.
As a new mom, she should be able to say "Ya know, I'm really kinda tired and I'd really like to just take it easy and not have any guests today." Or "Well, I've got some family traveling into town to meet Squirt and I'd really like to just have a smaller group over today...so everyone (including myself) has plenty of time to love on him." These things should be able to be communicated without others feelings being hurt. Especially the feelings of those that live the closest and will have the most opportunity to have the baby to themselves after the newness has worn off.
A new mom's primary concern should be resting/recuperating from giving birth and bonding with their new baby. They shouldn't be having to deal with the stress of family drama and playing hostess to all of their extended family. Sure everyone is excited and can't wait to meet the newest family member, but is within the new parent's rights to set parameters and guidelines as to who they are comfortable having around their baby in the first few days and weeks of his life.
The main focus here should be: What can we do to help you? Not is it my turn yet? So and so got to hold him longer than I did. It's frustrating to see my sister trying to hold it together and worrying about making everyone happy rather than just relaxing and enjoying her sweet boy.
I know that nobody is doing this on purpose...they're just having a hard time stepping back and seeing it from my sister's point of view. So next time some one you love has a baby, think twice about rushing to visit as soon as the get home from the hospital. Maybe offer to bring them dinner one night and stay for a short visit and then leave it up to the new parents as to when another visit is a good idea. And if it's family, make sure you focus on what you can do to help them with around the house...so they can focus on figuring out parenthood on their own. Hormones and emotions are already all over the place after having a baby...make sure you're not overstepping your boundaries or overstaying your welcome too.
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