Thursday, May 31, 2012

New Baby Etiquette....For Lack of a Catchier Title

I'm super excited to announce that I'm finally an aunt.  A for real bona fide blood related aunt.  I'm totally and completely in love with this little boy!!!  I had no idea my heart could swell with so much love for a little breathing human being that didn't actually come out of my own vag.  He is beautiful, isn't he? 

My sister was a trooper!!!  Things got a little hairy there at the end...but everyone pulled through just fine.  They're all home from the hospital and trying to adjust to having a sweet baby in the house.  And trying to make everyone happy when it comes to visiting and holding Squirt...but this task is proving to be way more difficult than it should be.

As a new mom, she should be able to say "Ya know, I'm really kinda tired and I'd really like to just take it easy and not have any guests today." Or "Well, I've got some family traveling into town to meet Squirt and I'd really like to just have a smaller group over everyone (including myself) has plenty of time to love on him."  These things should be able to be communicated without others feelings being hurt.  Especially the feelings of those that live the closest and will have the most opportunity to have the baby to themselves after the newness has worn off.

A new mom's primary concern should be resting/recuperating from giving birth and bonding with their new baby.  They shouldn't be having to deal with the stress of family drama and playing hostess to all of their extended family.  Sure everyone is excited and can't wait to meet the newest family member, but is within the new parent's rights to set parameters and guidelines as to who they are comfortable having around their baby in the first few days and weeks of his life.  

The main focus here should be: What can we do to help you?  Not is it my turn yet?  So and so got to hold him longer than I did.  It's frustrating to see my sister trying to hold it together and worrying about making everyone happy rather than just relaxing  and enjoying her sweet boy. 

I know that nobody is doing this on purpose...they're just having a hard time stepping back and seeing it from my sister's point of view.  So next time some one you love has a baby, think twice about rushing to visit as soon as the get home from the hospital.  Maybe offer to bring them dinner one night and stay for a short visit and then leave it up to the new parents as to when another visit is a good idea.  And if it's family, make sure you focus on what you can do to help them with around the they can focus on figuring out parenthood on their own.  Hormones and emotions are already all over the place after having a baby...make sure you're not overstepping your boundaries or overstaying your welcome too.

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  1. Couldn't agree more! And, the people that are already parents and have been there, done that should know this! When people used to come over and ask if I needed anything, I was so tempted to be like, "Yeah - the dishes need to be loaded. And you can get up and do them, not hold this baby while I get up and do it. While you're at it, make my bed, go to the grocery for me, turn down the TV, and then leave so I can sleep."

  2. EXACTLY!!! I expect this kind of behavior from my kids...not grown adults that have had kids of their own.

  3. So glad I could bring her dinner last night. I know that was the best gift for us was friends taking that daily chore off my hands so that I could love on my new baby. He is so sweet and I loved being able to hold him for a few minutes and that was certainly worth bringing dinner :)

  4. I completely agree!!!
    Thanks for checking out my blog! Don't you just love the Blog Hop? TGIF:)

  5. This is the truth!!! Luckily with this last baby we were far away from EVERYONE and didn't really have to deal with ANYONE. I'm stalking you, I mean following you now too!

  6. Too bad everyone doesn't think this way. Thank God I'm beyond having babies, but I can remember the drama very well.

  7. When I had my little one I sort of felt bum rushed, quite possibly because I am an over achiever beyond over achievers, and being from the south I felt that a new born did not excuse my duty to always be put together, my house clean, and food/beverages easily available to offer my guests....I was such a wreck after everyone left at night. Finally after much insisting from Hubs and my mother in law, that I am (to spite my desire) NOT superwoman....and decided to minimize the visits. Now at 10 weeks it's almost like pulling teeth to get some friends to visit.
    P.S. Thank you for visiting my Blog! I hope to get to know you better (and maybe your sense of humor will rub off on me)