Happy Birthday Clarance...SURPRISE!!!

GAHHHHH!!!  I wish someone had thought to record the surprise part of Clarance's party.  It was priceless.  He was speechless and even teared up just a little bit.  Thank you to Tater, Valentine & Cricket for making it happen.

I truly enjoyed my conversation about the "salty balls" <---sausage balls...with Trixie and Speedo.  I was quite impressed with his talent of stuffing 2 salty balls in his mouth at one time.  That's the bomb diggity right there.  As for the pickles wrapped in ham and cream cheese...thanks to Petunia for ruining my appetite (for a minute). But seriously, just thinking about them makes my mouth get that watery, puky feeling.  BLECK!!!!  But of course her cousin made it before...and her other cousin just got married, in case you were curious.

And Trixie brought up a very good "politically correct" point regarding the Olympics.  If we're encouraged to call black people here "African Americans", what are we supposed to call the other black athletes at the Olympics?  African French? African Canadian?  African Nigerian? African Dominican?  I could go on, but I'm pretty sure the point has been made.  It's just silly.  Aren't we all just Americans?  I'm a white American, Gabby Douglas is a black American and Jennifer Lopez is a Hispanic American.  

Throughout the night (or whole weekend really) it was made abundantly clear that Skeeter really is a dick...but he's really just taking one for the team by saying the things the rest of us don't want to say out loud for fear of hurting anyone's feelings.  Zippy met his match...he found another chatterbox to keep him company or maybe just steal his spotlight.  Kisses Zippy.  

There were tears shed about one-legged girls...and another that turns out to have both of her legs.  We giggled about Clarance's mom...the assistant warden at the woman's prison, trying to play matchmaker.  We had a few of our own episodes of WWE Smackdown on the back patio...seeing as there were only 4 tall chairs around the patio table, they were coveted real estate.  Once you gained residency, you did NOT want to give that shit up!!  So you had me & Chiquita holding "it"...to the point that wetting our pants were a definite possibility.  Poor Skittles thought she was gonna gain occupancy of my chair when I finally couldn't hold it anymore...but luckily Lollipop is my BFF and I know she prefers to stand...so she took up temporary  residency for me while I drained my bladder.  Then you've got Captain Knuckles trying to throw me out of my chair...then eventually stealing Chiquita's and declaring ownership of the fly swatter.  UH OH!!!

Lollipop suggested a Captain Knuckles sandwich too.  He proved he could work the fly swatter on both sides of the "sandwich".  I've truly missed Captain Knuckles...I'm so glad he finally showed up and provided enough material to actually make it into our Clowny Adventures.  Please don't be a stranger.    

Skeeter had quite the conversation with Siri about how many woodchucks could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.  Freckles rocked out the Kilo...Love In Ya Mouth.  Cuz gave some great advice for the next time someone asks "Do I know you? You look really familiar."  Just ask them if they watch porn.  Tater apparently broke a mirror at work on Saturday...so in the middle of all the insanity, he dug a hole in the moonlight and buried said mirror...to bypass his 7 years of bad luck.  Captain Knuckles was unsuccessfully trying to light his cigarette with a book of matches, eventually using the tiki torches...and being scolded by Cuz, who told him he better be careful "those things'll give you salmonella brother."   All the boys (minus Captain Knuckles) ended up inside having a Duck Dynasty marathon.   I'm sure I'm probably leaving something out...so check back for updates.  Please click on the banner below to keep helping me climb in the rankings at topmommyblogs.com.  Feel free to follow me here and Facebook and share the laughter with your friends.  Have a great week...and stay tuned for more graceful disasters.