Merry Christmas...I promise I'm alive!!

I realize it has been WAY too long since I've written.  I have been so busy at work and home and my lack of cooperating devices, I just haven't had time to blog.  I know, it's a lame "dog ate my homework" excuse.  So now that I should be getting busy with "Operation Clean-Up", I'm gonna procrastinate and FINALLY write!!!  You know you're excited.

Where to begin?  Over the past 2 weeks we've battled a case of strep throat, an ear infection and 4 bouts of the stomach funk...mine hitting on the side of the road an hour from home.  I should probably spare you the gory details, but where's the fun in that?  Not only did projectile vomit on the side of the road with a packed Stella for an audience, but I also shat my pants.  That's right...and I cranked up those badass butt warmers and baked that shit the whole way home, sending inappropriate text messages to my sister and daughter in the backseats.  Beelay suggested we stop, seeing as we did have diapers and wipes in the car.  I don't know where she gets her smart mouth from, I swear I don't.

My mom, bless her heart, bought tickets to take the girls to Cirque du Soleil for Saturday night, but Beelay's bug prevented her from going.  I was so jealous...I've seriously been dreaming of seeing a Cirque show for YEARS!!!  Thank goodness Dumpling picked up on my (not so) subtle hint and got us tickets for tomorrow night's show for my Christmas present.  I'm over the moon excited!!!

I've got several funny stories to share, but I can't decide whether to go in chronological order or in funny, to funnier to funniest order.  Hmmmm...

Well, my brother bought my sister and the girls their very own "Go Girls".  Thanks to Chiquita, I already have my own.  If you're not familiar, it's a "women's urination device".  On Christmas night, we were all hanging out in the den when we hear Slou in the bathroom.  "Yes, I made it in the toilet!!"  To which Uncle replies "That's great, considering I bought it used."  The shrieks and squeals that came from the bathroom almost made me pee my pants.  Unfortunately the stomach bug quickly sucked the air out of her sail right after that.

Dumpling, Beelay & I went out in search of Christmas lights later.  Honestly we were really disappointed by the lack of holiday cheer...but while we were out it came up that Super Hero & Martha Stewart across the street had been asking for weeks now when we were gonna put our deer up.  So it was decided that Christmas night would be the PERFECT time to put them out, in THEIR yard!!  We get home and Beelay hauls a big box across to their driveway....and runs back home.  While she's getting the other stuff together, Super Hero comes out, moves the box out of his way and moves his MIL's car.  Obviously the joke was up, but that didn't rain on Beelay's parade!!  She and Dumpling got the deer all set up, plugged them in and NOTHING!!  One of the extension cords was bad, so she unplugs half of our own lights to run power...this whole time we can hear their two year old throwing the tantrum of the millennium in her bedroom and the rest of them were probably watching us from a different window.  At one point Martha Stewart even came out and said hi to Beelay.  So the joke really bombed before it even left the ground, but it was funny anyway.  Especially the next day when I was driving Beelay over to a friend's house to ship out for the week and out of nowhere she just starts giggling.  "What are you laughing at?" "M.S. & Super Hero", to which we both shared a little giggle together.  I love having fun neighbors and fun kids too.

Last night, on FB I promised to write and publish a post.  I even took the day off of work to dedicate more time to my writing.  Do you wanna know what I woke up to this morning?  My dad...playing is World of Warcraft on MY computer.  Okay, he paid for it...so I guess he has every right to use it, but of course the one day in 2 months that I'm set on writing, his computer takes a dump?  Really!!  But the good news is, he's decided he "can't afford" to not have a working computer, so he's going to get his repaired AND buy a new one!!  So now I get the old one (which is badass for anything other than his game) and mine (which is perfectly fine) will be handed down the girls.  In the end, we're all a happy bunch.

In response to those that have accused me of slacking off because I've crawled up Dumpling's ass, you can kiss it.  You're right, I guess...but you can still kiss it.  I promise to try to find more time to write in the upcoming days, weeks and months.  Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and has a healthy and prosperous New Year!!!

Here are all of my links for any of you new to my Graceful Disaster.  You can always follow me here through Google Friends Connect (GFC), on Facebook or on Twitter.  Later peeps!!!

Girl Trippin'

Where do I begin?  I know when you think of football fans and tailgating, you probably don't picture it has your typical girl's weekend.  However, when you picture my girlfriends...that's what you get.

I'll be honest, of the 5 of us that went...I'm the least fond of football.  It's not that I dislike it.  I enjoy watching it...with other people.  I'm not one to just sit at home by myself and watch it for shits and giggles.  That being said, I am a Georgia girl.  If I'm gonna pull for a specific team...of course it's gonna be the Bulldogs.  

Sunflower is a loyal Auburn fan, even through their currently painful season.  So we've all been talking about how much fun it would be to go tailgating at a UGA vs. AU game for years.  We finally did it this year.  We, being the independent women that we are, pulled Zippy & Chiquita's camper down to Auburn, AL and stayed at every football fan's dream campground.  

At University Station RV Park, they know how to tailgate!!! This place has over 800 campsites and almost every single one was booked this past weekend.  On Friday night they had a chili cook-off, a HUGE bonfire & a live band.  Saturday night they had another bonfire and played the game on a projector screen.  The bathhouse was the most amazing bathhouse I've ever roughed it in.  There was even a store that sold homemade biscuits and sandwiches and cakes...and fresh cut meat too, if you just wanted a steak to grill out at your campsite. 

Now on to the shenanigans that are always guaranteed to ensue.  We left Friday morning.  It was about a 3 hour road trip...and we spent the first 2 discussing poop, then we moved on to puking, periods and sex.  I'll spare you the details, but we're some nasty bitches.

As soon as we pulled up we made friends with our neighbors across the street and the chatty guy 2 doors down.  Within a couple of hours he was offering to let us borrow his golf cart to go visit Chiquita's boss on the back end of the campground.  Not the best idea.  We have countless questionable photos taken with every inflatable tiger in the campground.  Keep in mind that 3 of the 5 of us had just come off a 24 day cleanse.  We had been living off of rabbit food and had not had a sip of alcohol in 26+ days.  We've all prided ourselves on NOT being lightweights in the past, but we were all placing bets on who was gonna be Frank this go around.  We figured it was gonna get interesting pretty quick....but apparently we had no idea.

We lost an hour during our travels.  So our bodies were confused anyway.  Chiquita and I both thought since we'd been torturing ourselves for the last month, it would make better since to partake in COCKTAILS rather than beer...ya know, less calories and all.  Well, I caught myself after my first 2 king sized vodka tonics.  I could tell they were going down entirely too quickly and smoothly....so I took a break and then switched to beer.  Chiquita wasn't as...observant.  They came out of nowhere and sucker punched her ass!!!  By 5pm it was dark and she couldn't walk a straight line.

They had the bonfire area cordoned off to keep people from parking their golf carts too close.  As we were walking (or I was guiding her), I asked her if she want to go over or under.  "Over, pffft...I got this bitches!!" And down she went...rolling down the hill along with my bladder control.  I totally and completely peed my pants!!!  As soon as I'd get it under control, she'd do something else that would send me into hysterical laughter.  I couldn't catch my breath long enough to run to the bathroom.  It was BAD!!!  I tried to feed her some chili...and then she fell off the picnic table.  By 6:15, I needed to go wash myself, put on some dry drawers and put her to bed!!  She was tucked in and past out by 6:30.

I went back down to the fire to enjoy the people watching and live music with Sunflower, Lollipop and Tabby.  But I was already spent.  I'll admit I'd had more than my share of "spirits", but I was EXHAUSTED too.  By 8pm Tabby & I were down for the count...until we were rudely awakened by our chatty neighbor's pissed off wife.  She snatched open the camper door and grabbed Tabby's foot (she was sound asleep on the pull out couch right by the door) and said "Listen here little lady, you and your little friends better stay off my golf cart or I'll KILL you!!" and slammed the door.  Before it even registered in my brain what was going on, it was over.  Huh? Oh no you didn't...oh wait, zzzzzzzzzzz!!!!

Something only the owner of the camper knew, was how to hook up the propane and turn on the heat.  Come about 5am, we were FREEEEEEZING!!!  I'm talking icicles forming in my nostrils.  I never thought I'd be so thankful that Lollipop is furnace when she's sleeping.  I talked her into coming down from the top bunk and spooning with me.  That's what best friends are for.

Of course come morning, Mr. Chatty is still being chatty and came on over to partake in mimosas with us, but not until AFTER Tabby informed him about his wife not being our biggest fans.  Apparently a group 5 girls is very threatening to a married woman....forget we're all spoken for too.  Anyway, he acted like he had no idea what we were talking about...but Sunflower & I are pretty sure he knew EXACTLY what we were talking about.  Needless to say, she avoided us all day...until about half-time when we were pretty close to successfully getting a contact high.  She came walking past our site stoned out of her mind and said "Y'all having fun yet?" and staggered down the street.

I'm proud to say we all made it to a respectable 10pm before we hit the hay Saturday night...after we built our own campfire and roasted marshmallows.  We got up and packed up and made the trek back to our realities with nothing but good memories and funny stories.  I love my friends and I love our girl's trips.  They keep me right at that happy medium between sanity and being institutionalized.  I don't know what I'd do without them.

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Thank God It's Thursday

Let me tell you how my day started....

First, I had to wake Beelay up at 5am and drop her off at Starbucks at 5:30...where she got a ride with another mom to school for their 8th grade trip.  I'd been telling myself all week that I was just gonna go ahead and get ready and head into work early.  HA!  I went home and went back to bed.

I figured I could get another solid hour of sleep....yeah, that turned into an hour and 20 minutes.  I knew Slou was gonna be PISSED!!!  She HATES being LATE almost as much as I HATE being LATE!!!  I ran into wake her up and spotted her iTouch laying next to her in her bed.  "Hmmm, what's this?  How about I let this slide and you don't get mad about running late?"  "Deal!"  Is that bad?  I bargained with my kid about her breaking the rules because I desperately needed a few extra minutes with my pillow.

Let me clarify.  When I say she was late, that means she wasn't going to be at school when the first bell rang at 7:10.  She considers herself late if she's not one of the first people in her classroom.  She's not tardy until 7:40...and that NEVER happens.

Now let me tell you about how sloooooooooooooooooow my day is moving...

I have just about Z-E-R-O going on at work right now...mainly because the computer that stores ALL of my spreadsheets has been out of commission for over 2 weeks now and Prince Douche has decided that he is going to fix it himself, rather than me call in our IT company.  The problem is Prince Douche has a hard time putting down the bottle...of scotch or vodka.  So this particular computer isn't exactly at the top of his priority list right now.  I have a 5" stack of paperwork collecting dust in my inbox to input on my spreadsheets, but it'll just continue to sit there until next week.

My amazing boyfriend has been out of town since Saturday...and wasn't supposed to be back until this Sunday.  Thank goodness the prospect of having to go 8 days without seeing each other wasn't working for him either.  I wasn't gonna ask him to come home early, but I was really really really hoping he would.  I'm so excited that he's coming home today.  This day can not move any faster towards quitting time and me wrapping my arms around his neck!!  Tick tock tick tock....

Add the fact that tomorrow we're headed out for a girl's weekend full of football & drinking...I'm just too excited to be stuck sitting behind my desk today!!!  Chiquita, Sunflower & I have been on a strict diet for the last 24 days and have not drank in that time.  So consider yourselves warned.  This weekend could either be a disaster or one to go down in the history books.  I just hope that if it's the latter, we're able to remember enough of it for me to document it for you.  Tabby & Lollipop have already offered to record all of the shenanigans for me, but that's not exactly what I have in mind.  That could BAD...like really BAD!!!

Today I've linked up with all the ladies at The Mommy-Brain Mixer.  If you're looking for more blogs to follow, you should totally check it out.  As always, you can follow me here via GFC, on Facebook and on Twitter.  Please click on the banner below to cast your vote for me at topmommyblogs.com too to help me gain a little in my quest to rule the world...right!  Anyway, thank you for reading and following along in my journey.  Hope everyone has an awesome weekend.


 

Tell Me About It Tuesday....

 

Today for shits and giggles, I'm linking up with Helene In Between for Tell Me About It Tuesday.  I've been suffering from a little spell of writer's block.  I'm thinking there are a few reasons this might be the case.  One, things are just going too well for me to bitch about anything.  Two, I'm in love and that's a lot of what is on my mind these days...and I'm trying to keep a lot of that part private.  Three, I've been super duper slammed at work and just haven't had the extra time to write.  Four, politics have been at the forefront of my thoughts too...and I've reallllllly been trying not to use my blog to preach my political views.

All of that being said, my kids are still crazy.  I'm still crazy about Dumpling.  Everyone is learning to get along...and learning to share me.  Of course the girls are on the winning end this week, since he's gone ALL WEEK!!!  I'm not fond of not seeing each other for 8+ days in a row.  Of course he had this little trip planned before we started dating...and I've got a girl's trip planned this weekend too.  Good thing he's not fond of it either!!  He totally made my heart sing when he told me he was coming home early so we could see each other before I leave on Friday!!!

Thanksgiving is right around the corner...and you know what that means?  Black Friday is lurking right behind it!!  Money is tight this year, so I probably won't go all out this trip.  But for tradition's sake, we're still gonna make the rounds....starting with beers at Ruby Tuesday!!  If we're gonna battle the crowds, we might as well be relaxed doing it...right?

Today is obviously election day.  The girls are home from school.  It's cold and rainy.  I would love nothing more than to go home and make it a movie marathon day, snuggled up with my babies.  Unfortunately, we all know that is NOT what would happen if I was by chance able to take the rest of the day off.  I would end up cooking them lunch, cleaning up their messes, finishing laundry, playing referee and ultimately locking myself in my bedroom.  

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Slou's Diagnosis

I'm excited and a little overwhelmed.  We went through a full evaluation at The Amen Clinic.  The work they're doing there is nothing short of amazing.  Our first visit included an in depth interview with one of their historians to discuss our family history, my concerns, Slou's concerns, etc. and her first set of SPECT scans of her brain while active.  The second appointment was for scans of her brain while resting.  The third appointment we met with the doctor and discussed her diagnosis and treatment plan.

Healthy SPECT Surface View:

The doctor explained that the smoother the surface the better.  Bumps and holes indicate over active brain function.

As you can see from looking at her surface scans, hers don't really look too abnormal.  The majority is smooth with very few bumps or holes.  It all seems a little boring, huh?  I'll be honest.  I was a little disappointed when the doctor showed me these scans.  After all, this whole process was quite costly.  I didn't want it to be for nothing!!

Slou - Resting

Slou - Active

Well that's where the boring ends and it all becomes fascinating and worth every penny.  Below are the internal scans of her brain.  You'll notice the healthy view contains only small portions of red and white.  The more red and white the more over active.

Slou - Resting

Slou - Active

As you can see, this whole journey wasn't for nothing.  It wasn't my imagination.  It wasn't that Slou was acting out just because she wanted to.  This isn't something that can be fixed by a little extra discipline.

Dr. Amen has classified ADD into 6 different types.  They have diagnosed Slou with #6, the ring of fire.  You can see from the pictures, why it's called the ring of fire.  You can read more about it here.  It's also known as/related with Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

The sections of the brain where you see the white are mostly where all of the emotions & impulsivity among other things originate.

So what now, you ask?  Well for starters we've started a new supplement regimen. In the morning, she'll continue with her ADHD medication (Vyvanse) along with a multi-vitamin, fish oil and 2 NeuroLink capsules (a supplement designed by Dr. Amen).  In the evening she'll take NeuroLink again and a calcium & magnesium supplement.  She's been taking all of these since Saturday morning.  I can tell you she already has a better attitude and her mornings have been exceptional.  She even moo'ed at me yesterday morning....a true sign of a great mood at our house. 

We're also working towards a better diet.  The doctor suggested that there might also be a food allergy involved too. I'll be sure to keep you all up to date on our progress.  Hopefully these natural treatments will help remedy all of our struggles with impulsivity, anger, depression, etc.  If not, they've also provided us with some suggestions for other medicines.  We'll return in January for a follow-up appointment. 

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Adjusting To Change...

I know, I know...I've been neglecting my blog lately.  I've had so much going on with every aspect of my life.  I just haven't had a chance to put pen to paper, so to speak.  I have so many things I want to write about, yet can't seem to formulate any of them into words these days.

My biggest stresser right now, is my girls!!!  I'm guessing it's the adjusting to me having a boyfriend.  Every time he's around they both seem to forget how to behave.  Before he came over for dinner last night, we had a talk about appropriate and inappropriate behavior.  The day before, my sister had a talk with them too.  I know, any of you that know my sister...know that was a kettle vs. pot conversation.  But she tried.

Slou has already started the "you're choosing him over me" shenanigans.  If you know me AT ALL, you know that's a load of crap.  I know she's just vying for my attention.  I know it's going to take time for her to get used to me having someone besides her and her sister in my life, but he's not going anywhere.

Beelay on the other hand thinks she's just being funny, but what she's really being is disrespectful and pushing my patience to a breaking point.  She was so wound up last night that the only way I was able to get her to the stairs was by leading her by her hair.  Mind you, I was not dragging or yanking her by the hair.  I simply had a handful of her chestnut locks in my hand as if it were her hand in mine and walked her to the bottom of the stairs and quietly threatened to beat her if she didn't go get in the bed.  This was after she'd been allowed to hang out with us for an hour or so.

I've tried explaining to them that I'd love to be able to take them with us to do things, like bowling or the movies or corn maze, etc.  But if they can't behave at home, why on earth would I take them out in public?  I've explained that I'd like to be able to invite him over to the house during the week, so that they don't feel like I'm choosing him over them by going out with him or over to his house instead, but after last night....I'm most definitely going out to his house tonight.  And I'm going to enjoy every second of the peace and quiet...and maybe next week they'll act like 11 & almost 14 year olds, rather than 2 & 5 year olds.
Our time together is limited enough without my kids trying to sabotage it with their antics.  The problem is the stunts they pull are funny....and I being the questionable adult in the situation, find it VERY hard not to laugh when the dog comes hauling ass downstairs wearing one of Squirt's diapers.  This is new to all of us, but I'm certain we'll find a happy medium and in the end everyone will be happy...it just may be a bumpy road to get there.

I know I've been slacking, but please click the banner below.  Your click acts as a vote for me on topmommyblogs.com.  Also follow me on GFC, Facebook, or Twitter.  Hopefully it won't be another week before you hear from me.

Putting Happiness Into Words...

How do you put happiness into words? I spend so much time on here venting about my kids and sharing the overall silliness of my life with my friends, but today I want to shout it from the rooftops how happy I am.  Everything is falling into place.  We've started the psychological testing for Slou and I'm certain that this is EXACTLY the path we needed to take...and hopefully by this time next week, we'll have a full diagnosis and treatment plan.

Chiquita, Sunflower and I have begun our 30 day journey towards clean eating. Because we're doing it together, it really hasn't been that hard to walk the straight and narrow.  You can follow that adventure on my other blog at The Motivated Fat Girl.

But most of all, over the past few weeks...I have fallen in love with an amazing man.  For the past week, I've been asking myself "are you crazy for thinking you're falling in love after only 3 weeks?"  Let me rewind, we briefly dated several years ago.  I take full responsibility for it not working out then.  I guess it just wasn't our time yet.  But now, now I'm absolutely without a doubt, certain that it is our time!!  I know it sounds ridiculous, but I've never been so sure of something in my entire life.  It's just RIGHT!!  

He's opened my eyes and my heart to things that I never thought possible.  When we're together, everything is just so easy.  Unfortunately our time together is very limited, but it makes it that much more special when we're together.  

He's the only man I've ever brought around my girls in a "boyfriend" type scenario.  I think they both like him, but they're both gonna have a hard time adjusting to sharing me with someone.  Beelay has already noticed how happy I've been and wants to be my confidant.  She's given me the "dating" lecture that included the rule of no making out in the movie theater....because you know adults do that all the time.

I've been trying to put it into words all week....but wasn't sure about broadcasting it to the world, but after last night, I know we're both on the same page.  So I'm shouting it from the roof tops...I'm in love!!!

Hope everyone has a great weekend.  As always, please click the banner below and follow me here on GFC, Facebook or Twitter.