Am I Strong Enough To Be Their Mom?

 Last night I ran away.  I'm sure I wasn't setting a very good example to my kids, but it was the only choice I had.  It was run away or pull some kung fu moves out of my back pocket and straight onto Slou's face.

Allow me to rewind...to Monday morning.  I had a parent/teacher conference at 6:50am!!  That was HARD, but I did it because I'm dedicated to being the best mom I can be.  After talking with her teachers, I felt better...maybe a little more optimistic.  We now have a plan of attack.  We're working as a team to try to motivate and help her overcome this most recent obstacle....laziness!!  She had also lost her agenda...so I bought her a replacement.

I was certain that Monday afternoon/evening was going to be a positive homework encounter.  I was sadly mistaken.  She forgot her brand new agenda at school...along with every book that she needed in order to do her homework.  But did she figure this out when she got home from school, when she was SUPPOSED to start her homework? Hell no!!  It was after dinner!!  Needless to say, she was in bed early that night.

I was again hopeful that Tuesday would bring calmer weather.  She had called me when she got home and promised that she would get right on it and only leave what she needed my help with for when I got home.  Reasonable, right?  Yeah, she'd done 2 math problems when I got home.  She was on the defensive...taking every little thing I said as a personal attack.  She basically wanted me to do her effin homework for her.  Not happening!!  I sent her upstairs to read her science unit....of course she fell asleep.  I was okay with that...I had hoped that it would adjust her attitude and we could start on a clean slate after dinner.  NOPE!!!

I'll save you the gory details...because you might feel obligated to report me to DEFACS don't have all day.  It's impossible to help a child that doesn't want to be helped.  My patience are only so thick...which isn't very thick anyway.  Before I completely blew my lid, I calmly told her "I'm leaving.  Before I completely lose my mind, I'm leaving.  And when I get back, your homework better be done and the mess in the kitchen floor better be GONE!!"  She told me she was calling the police and then I ran away...to Kroger and to my sister's and to a big glass of wine.  I diverted all phone calls to my sister....because you know that bitch was blowing up.  I bathed and cuddled Squirt until my blood pressure was near normal...and then I went home.

Thanks to a couple of phone calls that talked me down from the ledge that might've ended with sending her to her dad's.  The pep talks reminded me that I am strong enough to be her mom.  Thank GOD when I got home, her homework was done, her mess was cleaned up, she was showered and in her bed waiting for me to kiss her goodnight.  Maybe running away was EXACTLY what I needed to do, to open her eyes to the effect that her behavior is having on me.

I'm convinced that she needs further testing...but every doctor that I talk to doesn't take my insurance.  I'm working on the counseling end too...but nothing can happen fast enough.  I've changed my category listing over at topmommyblogs from "humor" to "single moms"...and now I'm ranked #3 in my category.  That's right bitches!!!  I mean I know I'm funny...but my life isn't so funny right now...so I'm throwing the white flag and surrendering in ruling the world as a funny mom and setting my sights on the single mom thrown.  Continue clicking the banner, please.  And follow me on GFC, Facebook and Twitter.