Life With Girls....

I've recently been called out for not blogging anymore.  In my heart, I feel it's mainly been because I now have 2 teenage daughters that I have feared would kill me in my sleep if I blogged about them and it didn't shine the most positive light on them.  

Weeeehhhellll, one of them has all but dared me to blog.  She claims that I'm just an old fart with nothing to say.  Of course she's not the one that I'm really worried about killing me in my sleep, but let's see if I've still got it.  Where should I start?  

If you look at my personal Facebook, you'll see I've had plenty to say about politics, but I've had about enough of politics for now.  My life is pretty boring.  I've married the most anti-social man on earth.  So that really only leaves my girls.  

Of course, Beelay, being 18 now; is NEVER home!!  But when she is, we're usually in the middle of binge watching something on Netflix.  We'll pause it when she walks in.  We'll talk for a while, then she'll either disappear up to her room or....

She'll sit down on the couch and play on her phone, until we hit play and it starts getting good.  Then she'll "accidentally" start watching a video with the volume up to 10!!  "Oops, sorry.  I didn't realize it was gonna be that loud.  Then she'll start watching with us.  Get into it.  And ask questions every 15 seconds to figure out what's going on....and then get mad when she gets home the next day and we've watched another episode without her.  

Oops, sorry.  We forgot we were supposed to sit here and wait for you to get home to watch...ANYTHING!!

I know this is tame...but I'm just dipping my toe in the water, to see if she REALLY wants me to blog about her.  Her sister, being home a lot more, gives me much more material to work from, but she's also the one I fear will smother me in my sleep.

All Lives Matter....

I was born and raised in the south. I was raised to see a person, a boy or girl, not a color.  When I was really young, we lived in VERY south Georgia.  I don't have many memories from then, but I remember 2 friends from church.  Kitsi and Summer.  Kitsi was white.  Summer was black.  The only reason I knew Summer was different from me was by her braids.  I loved them.  I wanted braids just like hers. I'm pretty sure I begged her mom to braid my hair too, but was told my hair couldn't be braided like that.

Fast forward a few years.  My family moved to Roswell...but our church was downtown off of Ponce.  You wanna talk about diversity? We had black members, white members, homeless members...you name it, we saw it. 

One Sunday, a black girl was visiting.  Her braids looked just like Summer's.  I couldn't take my eyes off of them. But apparently my stares made her uncomfortable.  I'm pretty sure I had no idea I was even staring.  To my 10 year old eyes, I saw the possibility of a new friend.  But to her eyes, she must've seen a little white girl looking down on her.  I don't remember exactly what she said to me, but it wasn't nice or friendly.  Something along the lines of "quit staring at me"...but it felt like a slap in the face.  That was the day I learned there was more than braids that made us different.

I'm not racist.  I'm not a bigot.  I'm not a xenophobe.  I'm simply white.  I can't change that any more than a zebra can change their stripes.  I'm afraid of where our country is headed.  Today was supposed to be a day of exploring new places with my girlfriends.  Starting with the Ponce City Market, right down the street from that same church.  But because of the possibility of protests & riots, we've been forced to change our plans.  I'm disappointed and I'm disgusted that it's come to this.

How did we get here?  I know my parents raised me to treat everyone the way I wanted to be treated.  They raised me to respect authority, not defy it.  The police ARE the good guys.  They sign up for the job to protect us, not to gun down innocent people.  But their lives are threatened everyday, by people (black, white, Asian, Indian, etc.) who mean to do them harm.  They have to protect themselves too.  I can't quote statistics, but I'm sure the innocent person shot by the police is an exception to the rule, rather than the rule.  Just like there are a few bad cops out there too, but that doesn't make every police officer the enemy.

This fire of HATRED is fueled by activists like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton...and Barrack Obama.  The media does their part to throw a little gasoline on it too.  Yes, there are racists, bigots and xenophobes in this world, but they're a small number compared to the millions of people like me, that are also labeled by their skin color.  I have no idea if my ancestors owned slaves...chances are they probably did.  However there's also an extremely high likelihood that some of their descendants (more of my ancestors) fought to abolish slavery.  For how many more generations are we gonna fight this war? We're all people.  We all matter! 

Duck Dynasty....

I've read a few excerpts from Phil's GQ interview.  I've heard every.single.morning.show go on and on and on and on about how controversial and upsetting it was and how offended everyone is.  It was even on the tv at the gas station this morning and the Asian lady behind the register said "It's his beliefs.  Leave him alone."

I watch Duck Dynasty.  I LOVE DUCK DYNASTY!!! It's one of the only family friendly "reality" shows on tv that we all find insanely entertaining.  They are a Christian family.  It's good wholesome fun. Jase is my favorite Robertson.  But Phil is the patriarch of the family.  He's never once hidden what his beliefs are.  So what was GQ expecting when they interviewed him? That he was gonna magically become politically correct?

We all know the bible says that homosexuality is a sin.  So is being greedy.  How many of you can say you've never been guilty of lust or envy? Fornication?  How many of you were virgins until your wedding night? Taking the Lord's name in vain.  You've never said "Oh my God"? A sin is a sin is a sin.  Who are any of us to judge which sin is bigger than the other? 

I'll be the first one to speak up to support gay rights.  I'm not saying every church in the country should have to allow a gay couple to say their vows in their sanctuary.  But our government has intervened in every other area of our lives to make sure everyone feels equal.  Why not let two men or women that love each other have the same legal rights that the rest of us have when we marry our significant other?


So basically what I'm saying is SHUT UP about how offensive you find Phil Robertson.  Go back to watching your 'Sons of Anarchy' and 'Breaking Bad' and let the people that try to live their lives according to God practice their "Right to Free Speech".  Nothing he said was shocking if you've ever watched the show.  And if you have watched it and still found him offensive, it's simple.  Don't watch it anymore.

Oh and nothing I read sounded racist at all.  I'm not going to play into GQ's marketing scheme by buying the magazine to read the whole article though.  You can read what they've posted on their website here. 

Merry Christmas!!


  

The BIG Thank You...

On my way in this morning, I was listening to The Bert Show.  They are promoting a huge campaign to make sure EVERY.SINGLE.SERVICEMAN/WOMAN stationed outside of the United States has a handwritten thank you letter in their hands by Thanksgiving.  

As many of you know, one of my VERY dearest friends is in the Army.  Knowing how it feels to have him so far away from us, I can only imagine what it's like for all of them to be away from their families, friends and loved ones, especially during the holidays.

That being said, I'm joining the campaign!!  I'm asking all of my friends, family, co-workers and readers to please write a THANK YOU letter...as short or long (no more than front and back of one page) as you want.  If you're not able to get them to me, you can either drop them at any Jersey Mike's location or mail them directly to the radio station.  

There are a few "rules" though.  Here's the gist...

Each letter should be heartfelt, handwritten, original, and free of any political statements. The purpose of the letter is to express thanks to the military personnel currently deployed outside the United States. We reserve the right to eliminate those messages that are political in nature and do not reflect a positive message in the spirit of Thanksgiving.

• All letters must be on 8.5” x 11” paper or smaller.
• Do not use glue, tape, staples, cardboard, glitter or otherwise attach anything to the paper.
• NO construction paper.
• Decorate using crayons, markers, pens or pencils.
• Use both sides if you like, but use one page per letter only.
• Do not send greeting cards or photographs.
• Feel free to include your mailing and email address.
• Individual letters should not be sealed in envelopes.
• Do not send anything except letters.

For more information you can visit their website at bigthankyou2013.com

In order for them to ensure that all letters are delivered by Thanksgiving, they must have them in their possession by November 1st.  I'll be sending all the letters I plan to collect no later than October 28th.  Please take the 5-10 minutes to say thank you to the people who have dedicated their lives to protecting us and our country.

 You can follow me on Facebook by clicking here.  Thank you again for reading...

Slow Motion...

Don't get too excited.  I know seeing two posts this close together isn't the norm anymore, but I'm 100% caught up at work and now I'm bored.  Sooooo, write I will.

Here's a little glimpse into our chaotic life:

I told you that the girls and I moved in with Dumpling.  What I left out was that he doesn't sleep...very often or very soundly.  ANYTHING wakes him up...a fleck of dust floating through the air could be the culprit.  So needless to say, we don't sleep in the same bed.  I snore.  I grind my teeth.  I BREATHE!!!  

Our little cabin in the woods...is only a 3 bedroom.  Being the gentleman that he is, he gave up his bedroom.  He's been sleeping on the couch for months now.  I have offered time and time again to give up the bed and he has repeatedly turned me down.  Well, he finally admitted that the couch is doing a number on his back.  

Solution: I will sleep with Beelay and he will move back into our bedroom.  For those of you that have been around for the past almost 15 years, you know that Beelay slept with me until she was 5 years old...and didn't give up that arrangement without an over abundance of kicking, screaming and crying.  And don't think for a second that she has ever passed up the opportunity to sneak into my bed given the chance over the past 10 years.  So I'm guessing she's thinking "SCORE!! I WIN!!!"

Here's the downside: I get up to pee a couple of times a night.  The past few nights, I've been like a blind person that's been dropped in a war zone.  Downstairs, I know my way to the potty without turning on lights.  Move me upstairs and it's like walking through a minefield in order to relieve my bladder.  Last night I finally thought to grab my phone and use it as a flashlight. **I just added nightlights to my shopping list!!

Yesterday morning I got up the first, ok maybe the second time my alarm went off, to go snuggle with Dumpling before we HAD to get up.  <---Do NOT read more into that, because if you didn't know, log homes have ZERO privacy and EVERYONE HEARS EVERYTHING!!!  Back to the topic at hand, the first step is shorter than a normal step.  In my sleepy slumber, I forgot.  For half a millisecond, I saw my life flash before my eyes AGAIN!!  I had flashbacks of my tumble almost 3 1/2 years ago that landed me on my back...for weeks and the continued back pain I still struggle with.  After that half a millisecond, I managed to bypass the anxiety attack that tried to follow.  I padded on into my bedroom and instead of being greeted with comfort, Dumpling LAUGHED at me!!!  ASSHOLE!!    

My back is seizing up just thinking about it again!!

Guess I should add that you can follow me on Facebook here, if you wanna keep up with my disasters as they happen.

How much have you missed me....

I know...it's been AGES!!!  Some of my friends would tell you that I haven't written because I'm lost somewhere up in the ass of my boyfriend...and they'd be some what correct.  I've also been using every ounce of my self control to keep from committing acts of violence toward my children...not always winning.  

So where to begin.  For those that don't know already, the girls and I moved in with Dumpling right before school started.  Which meant they had to move to new schools...where they knew NO ONE!!  I dropped that bomb on them a week and a half before school started...expecting it to be the beginning of the "Attack Of The Killer Teenagers".  I really and truly thought my children were going to hate me and possibly kill me in my sleep.  Don't think that I made this decision lightly.  It was WAY more than just "I wanna play house with my boyfriend".  I weighed it all out...painstakingly!!!  But I was terrified to tell the girls.  The 3 days between when I made the decision and when I told them...were HELL!!!  I seriously thought I was going to throw up, cry and die from the anxiety.

In the end, they took the news great!!  Of course there were the expected tears and fears.  I was accused of ruining their lives and loving Dumpling more than them.  But when it came down to it, they knew just as well as I did, that it was the best decision for all of us as a family.  They have had great attitudes about the whole move in general.

In case all of that's not enough to justify my lack of writing...

The every day battles of raising two hormonal girls haven't gone away.  For some reason the 14 year old despises shaving...to the point that the words "I think my leg hairs might have split ends" came out of her mouth.  GAG!!!

My baby turned 12 three weeks ago...and promptly "became a woman" the following week.  I realize the whole topic is fascinating, but I do NOT need to know how many times you had to change your pad...every hour.  The child talked of nothing else for a solid week.  Her teacher gave her a neat little care package that had coupons for your typical feminine products.  Instead of just giving me the coupons, she READ them to me WORD.FOR.WORD on the way to school one morning.  GAG!!!

Poor Dumpling.  He went from living alone to being overrun by females.  He's been a trooper...but I assure you, he is delighted now that it's hunting season and he can escape every other weekend or so.

The girls spent the night out on Sat. night.  One with their dad and one with his parents.  When I met their dad to get them on Sunday afternoon it was immediately evident that neither of them had taken their ADHD meds.  If you don't know my children, let me explain what that means.  They are more like cracked out monkeys on speed than they are civilized human beings.  If only one of them is un-medicated it's usually manageable, but BOTH?  That's BAD!!  It can go one of three ways. 

1. They're going to team up together and purposely drive me INSANE with their out of control shenanigans.  Leading to me probably losing my shit and them losing their freedom and electronics.

2. One is going to annoy and pick at the other until they lose their shit.  Leading to one or both of them losing their freedom and electronics.

3. We're all going to bounce of the walls together until someone pees their pants or loses their shit.  Which typically leads to the loss of freedom and electronics.

Here's how Sunday went: Their dad was obviously ready to choke them both when I met him...to which I responded with "welcome to my world".  He gave Slou a talking to on respecting me and behaving, but of course that fell on deaf ears since there was no magic medicine running through her veins.  I prayed that they would calm down by the time we got home...they DID NOT.  

I told them that one of them needed to clear the stairs and vacuum the stairs and their bedrooms and the other needed to clean their bathroom.  This prompted Slou to accuse me of being a slave driver and threatening to call the police and her quickly being snatched by her hair and sent upstairs to cool herself down with a shower...and then clear the stairs and vacuum.

Which of course delayed Beelay cleaning the bathroom...and SHAVING
HER MAN LEGS!!!  I thought she was upstairs, when I heard her scream something like "Stop it! I'm sleeping! Get out of my bed!!!!"  I was wrong.  She was in MY bed and Dumpling was trying to wake her lazy butt up and kick her out so he could watch football in our bedroom.  Eventually she comes running and screaming...and laughing into the living room, swinging a belt over her head and Dumpling right behind her with a belt of his own.  The sight was so ridiculous I almost peed myself then.

He finally got the bedroom cleared and locked himself in so he could have some peace and quiet...hahahaha.  I eventually had to take Beelay's phone away and told her she could have it back when she was done with the bathroom and shaving.  It was about this time they teamed up together, because that little snot, Slou told her sister where I'd hidden her phone.  I realized what she was doing before she actually laid hands on it, so I grabbed it and with her on my back, ran to my bedroom door (where there is a small opening between the slats) and slid her phone just out of her reach...it is at this EXACT moment that I do in fact WET MY PANTS!!!  

So in the end, after tears of laughter and pain and a change of dry clothes...all of the expected chores were complete and another day ended without DFACS being called.  That my friends is what I call success.   

What I'd Really Like To Say....

Families would be so much less dysfunctional if everyone could just be honest and say how they really feel and be heard without defenses going up and blame being thrown around like a hot potato.  Hearing the truth sometimes hurts, but if your family can't tell you the truth; who can? Part of growing up is admitting when you're wrong, learning how to compromise and sometimes just agree to disagree.  If you're one of those people who thinks they're never wrong, you must live in a very lonely world.

I've been dealing with some family drama for going on 6 weeks.  I've tried to stay out of it, but still let my feelings about it be known.  For years, I felt like I was the only person that would stand up to this particular family member and now that someone else has, I'm backing them up from a distance....if that makes sense.  But now I feel like "no good deed goes unpunished".  

So here are some random things that I'd really like to say to random family members....

1. No matter how old we are, our parents are still our parents and deserve to be respected and appreciated.
2. I'm a mom too...and really Mother's Day is just another day to me.
3. Your birthday is not a national holiday.
4. Don't talk on your phone at the dinner table.  Excuse yourself or offer to return the call later.
5. Just because someone offers, doesn't mean you should necessarily accept.
6. Usually, if you ignore something it usually doesn't go away....it just gets bigger and bigger.
7. NOBODY is perfect!!
8. Jealousy only makes bad situations worse. 
9. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to, because they're the right thing to do.



This post is probably gonna hurt some feelings, but it was the only way I felt I could vent the things that were stewing inside me.  I love my family...my parents, my siblings, my kids and my extended family.  Most everything above has been said to the face of the person it's intended, but not necessarily heard or accepted.  Don't take your family for granted.  You never know what tomorrow holds.

Whew...now that I got all of that off my chest, I feel soooooo much better.