Peek into my morning...

Here's an update on the contract/happy ticket comedy show...

My 13 year old, that thought this was the lamest idea EVER...is a true believer!!  She's like a different child...her words!!  She still has her normal hormonal little cases of turrets, but she's been SOOOO much more pleasant to be around.

Warning: I believe in spanking my children


Now on to the other one...my 10 year old is not a fan!!  Maybe it's the ADHD (which we all suffer from, so not likely) that makes her feel like she's gotta constantly be riding the emotional roller coaster.  Example: She had a GREAT afternoon yesterday and even into the evening.  We were running a little behind schedule because of her Wed. night dance class.  She ever so sweetly asked me if she could wait til this morning to take a shower with me.  She promised that she would wake up in a wonderful mood and she would have a great morning....and if she didn't, she'd give me ALL of her tickets.  Well, she kept half of her end of the bargain.  It was all rainbows and butterflies til it was time to actually get dressed.  MELT DOWN!!!  

Me: Ok, let's hurry up and get dressed and get downstairs...so you can get some happy tickets.


Slou: But mama, it's sooooooo cold!!! 


Me: Well, the faster you get dressed the faster you'll warm up.


5 min. later...and I'm already dressed


Me: Why don't you even have your bra & panties on?


Slou: Because I'm FREEEEEEEZING!!!  Why are you yelling at me?  You hate me!!  I don't even want any happy tickets.


Me: I'm not yelling at you, but my patience are about gone.  How about oops tickets? You want some of those?  


Slou: NO!!  There is NOTHING about oops tickets in our contract anyway!!


Me: (Said as calmly as possible-but not very calmly at all) I am the mom and the BOSS and I am allowed to revise the contract any way that I see fit.  Now get dressed.  (At which point I end up dressing her like a 3 year old).  Please go in your room and put your socks & shoes on.


Another 5 min. pass...and I've almost finished drying my hair, when I look in her room and she's sitting there doing absolutely NOTHING!!  But jumps up when she sees that I've noticed...and acts like she's been doing what she was supposed to all along. Now, I walk in and pop her ONCE...not sure if I made contact with her leg, her butt or her back...since she was flailing like a fish out of water.



Me: (No longer able to fake calm) WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHERE ARE YOUR SOCKS AND SHOES? WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOWNSTAIRS IN 5 MIN!!


Slou: IF YOU WOULD STOP HITTING ME MAYBE I'D BE IN A BETTER MOOD!!  


Me: (Teeth clenched, face red and steam coming out of my ears) I DID NOT HIT YOU!!  I SPANKED YOU, ONCE...WITH MY HAND, NOT THE PADDLE!!  AND I HAD TO SPANK YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR LACK OF COOPERATION AND YOUR SMART MOUTH.  SLOU, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN BRUSHED YOUR HAIR OR TEETH!!!  DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR PROMISE FROM LAST NIGHT?


Slou: (With tears & snot running down her face...screaming at the top of her lungs) WHAT PROMISE?


Me: That you would have an amazing morning or you'd give me all of your happy tickets.  I think it's time for you to give me all of your happy tickets.


Slou: (Said so matter-of-factly) Oh, well I don't have any happy tickets.


Me: (in my head...not out loud) WTF? ARE YOU EFFIN KIDDING ME? SHOOT ME NOW!!! (out loud) WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? WELL WHAT TICKETS WERE YOU PLANNING ON GIVING ME IF YOU HAD A BAD MORNING?


Slou: I was just gonna give you the ones I earned this morning.


I QUIT!!

Me: BRUSH YOUR HAIR & TEETH AND MEET ME DOWNSTAIRS.  (And I walk away)


5 min. later...the bipolar child walks downstairs with a smile on her face and the sweetest attitude.  Another 5 min. later, her sister has pissed her off and we're all being accused of hating her...AGAIN!!