Being the mother of 2 girls (10 & 13), I get loads of attitude and sass thrown at me daily. I've been plotting a plan of attack to try to put both the bad attitudes and sassy mouths out of business. It's gonna be an uphill battle, considering I'm pretty sassy (witty & sarcastic) myself. But here's my plan:
I've typed up individual attitude & chore contracts for each of the girls and for myself. I'll attempt to attach a link for them on here...no promises. But I customized them to each kid, based on my expectations, their age and capabilities...and specific things they might need to work on. I also reserved the right to revise the contracts as I see fit...probably every couple of months.
Part of the contract is a rewards and incentives. I came across these "Happy Tickets" on Pinterest. http://www.ambrosiagirl.com/blog/happy-tickets/. Not only can they earn an age appropriate allowance, but with happy tickets, they can earn extra little treats. They can earn tickets by having exceptionally good attitudes, being thoughtful, taking initiative when they see something needs to be done, being nice to each other, etc. After putting these into action last night, a new idea came to me. I'm going to make "oops" tickets too. They'll get them for having to be asked to do something more than once, or back talking, fighting, forgotten homework, etc. When they've received 3 "oops" tickets, they have to give me back one of their "Happy Tickets".
When I first handed the contract to my 13 year old, she thought it was the DUMBEST thing EVER!! She said "Mom, I'm 13!! I can't help it if I have a bad attitude. All girls my age have bad attitudes!!" She went on to have a FABULOUS attitude all evening and earned herself 6 "Happy Tickets". Her sister on the other hand, had a little bit harder of a time. She had a great attitude about the contract to begin with, but she couldn't quite wrap her head around the fact that if she did something nice and then coughed a hint hint (I'm being nice...give me a ticket), she wasn't going to get a ticket. She then stomped off and pouted about it. She didn't understand that even though she didn't throw a full blown fit and didn't talk back...her grumpy demeanor prevented her from earning as many tickets as she thought she deserved. She only earned one, for jumping up to brush her teeth and getting in the bed when she was asked to.
I'll keep you all posted on how this goes...and any revisions I come up with.
Shelby's Contract: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IYqjX-Hz7Uf1EyCcOhxQ7MlOBQ1NYqSfHmnVgengKoc/edit
My Contract: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dXWeuBTJ_qazYmvkfGxeWUe1JG3GD8rv0Xt_o2vvuN0/edit