Monday, January 23, 2012

Get Out of Jail Free Night!!

I love my friends.  There is NEVER a dull moment...for us or anyone else that might be lucky enough to be in the same place as us.  This weekend was no exception!!  Saturday night was a "get out of jail free" night.  One of our favorite local bands, The Ruckus  was playing close to home and we took full advantage.  Chiquita and I are OCD knowing that the venue was small and tables were gonna fill up quick, we decided to get there EARLY!!  Like almost 3 hours EARLY...and shockingly our friend Lollipop beat us there.  That NEVER happens!!

Turns out we got there just in the nick of time!!  We got the last open seats at the bar.  Anyway, you can imagine what happens when a group of clowns get to the bar 3 hours EARLY!!  It was a night filled with laughing til we peed, dancing til we spilled our drinks on each other and drank til we were cut off.  (Not really cut off...but it sounded good).

Here are a few little snippets of our night:
Zippy got there a little late.  He came straight from work and was ordered to get nekkid in the parking lot...PRONTO!!  To change into his night out attire...of course.  At this point, we've already eaten and are working hard towards our liquid courage and beer goggles.  But Zippy is HUNGRY!!  What does he order? Buffalo WIENERS!!!  And they were LITTLE WIENERS too!!  So what if they were really called Buffalo Wingers...WIENERS was so much funnier for our dirty twisted humor.

Our friend Jinx, had an unfortunate accident that left him without his front teeth.  However he has just recently gotten them back.  And the past several months leading up to this event, Lollipop has been promising him that as soon as he gets his grill fixed...she'll give him some sugar.  Saturday night when Jinx got to the bar, right there in front of Sweet Baby Jesus and everybody to see; Lollipop strolled right up to him and planted one right on his mouth.  It caught all of us off guard.  I almost spit my beer all over Sunflower, who was sitting in front of me...who happened to have spilled her beer all over herself when she ducked to make sure Chiquita and I could see the show.  Thank goodness Zippy was still there eating his WIENERS, otherwise he'd have missed it!!  Cause Zippy is an old man, he gets tired very he left before the fun really happened.  He had to hurry home to soak in the tub before he went to bed.

I guess Jinx was in a celebrating kind of mood.  He NEVER drinks!!  But this time when offered a Jager shot, he said YES!!  And was then forced to take 2 more and drink a beer.  He was our entertainment for the night...and anyone else that was paying attention.  He went on to motorboat Sunflower.  He had some crazy fascination with buttholes too...but we won't really get into that right now.  At one point I had him on my left and Twinkle Toes on my right...both of them getting their groove on by rubbing their butts on Giggles (me).  As much as I love the attention of two grown men gettin low and rubbing their butts on me...I'm not very well balanced.  So I decided to sit down on the bar stool behind me, just in time for Jinx and Twinkle Toes to move in and rub their butts on each other.  It was PRICELESS!!! 

Then you've got Gumdrop who's droppin it like it's hot and doing his signature nipple rub dance.  He shook it into next week!!  Then FINALLY Banjo showed up!!  He first of course had to make a trip up to "The Mountains" to see some titties...big fat titties!!  <---his words!! I tried to explain to him that was a really long way to go when Chiquita was sitting right next to me.  Either way, he was fashionably LATE!!  So we were all probably WAY ahead of him in the obnoxious meter...but he fit in well!!  His milkshake brings all the girls to the yard!! 

Because we're all starting to show our age a little bit, we were ready to leave by 12:30ish.  Thank goodness Chiquita didn't over indulge her thirst for ice COLD Bud Light!!  She was fine to drive us home in the horrible FOG!!  All the while I'm waiting for Bambi to jump out in front of us...but giggling all the way.  Mainly because Sunflower is texting me about how much SPINNING SUCKS!!  And how she can't sleep because she's still SPINNING!!  And we were debating on whether Jinx would be getting some celebratory strange or not.  In the end he was predictable as usual!!  

All in all, it was a great night out!!  Chiquita and I felt fine the next morning.  Sunflower, not so much.  Don't you wish you'd had a "get out of jail free" night too?


  1. I find it very appropriate to be reading YOUR blog while sitting in the Ortopaedics office. This "Banjo" character sounds a little shady to me. However, his milkshake dance is world renowned. At least in third world countries. Good read! Glad fun was had by all.

  2. Thanks for always keeping us laughing! Wonderful description of our fun filled night. =)